You forgot to say "I Love You" tonight. I waited, wondered, what had your thoughts preoccupied...
Or was it intentional.
It's becoming unbecoming. Undone.
The little things, changes that start the decline of the high.
You've always been one step ahead of me emotionally. You've been there, done that.
A stepping stone to the next replacement for your misery.
Maybe the next one wont fall so hard.
I still love you.
I refuse to believe I was the 9 month medication that satiated your desires.
But it's true, isn't it...
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Three Time's a Charm
My current obsession is focused on my LDR... We met almost 10 months ago, online, and have seen each other IRL 3 times, talk daily, and Skype 2-4 times a week. Being "single" for nearly 3 years (and swearing off another relationship for 2 1/2 of those), I find myself lonely and wanting that connection, intimacy and companionship. So what I have learned from the last two "serious" relationships...
1.) No matter what you do or say, you will never change the outcome of what your spouse will do. If he wants to cheat, he will cheat. If he wants to spend money on something, he will do it. No matter what "power" or influence you think you have on your man, if he wants to do it, he will find a way, with or without you. It is not in your control.
2.) You will never completely satisfy your man sexually. And I'm pretty open-minded. There is always that "one thing" that you can't give them. And, at some point, you wont be the one they are thinking about when you are being intimate. My second husband is completely responsible for making me think this way. No, I don't think there is anything wrong with fantasy, especially if it's shared - but every time? it seemed to come to he couldn't get aroused or get off without doing so, and that just made me feel... used. Ultimately, it just turned me off completely.
3.) All relationships start out feeling as if it's the real thing. While i was way too young to entertain the thought of marriage the first time (I was 19), it felt right, we were hopeful, successful and completely out of love and had nothing in common except kids, 8 years later. He was a stranger, I had met on the beach at 17. Husband #2. We were life long friends, met in high school. i was 14, he 20. we connected after i divorced and all was bliss. he knew my whole life, so there were no surprises. i met back up with him when i was 26 and married him at 31. Divorced him at 44. My LDR was formed on line. We met within 2 months and have grown closer to the point that i know my heart is gone to him. We click. we are the same age. everything is perfect; personalities, goals, dreams... how long will it last? My heart says forever and i love being in love with this man.
while I've only listed the negative, i know there were/are good times to be remembered/had. I know relationships are a lot of work. i just don't want to fail at this again.
Am i kidding myself, can i make this work?
1.) No matter what you do or say, you will never change the outcome of what your spouse will do. If he wants to cheat, he will cheat. If he wants to spend money on something, he will do it. No matter what "power" or influence you think you have on your man, if he wants to do it, he will find a way, with or without you. It is not in your control.
2.) You will never completely satisfy your man sexually. And I'm pretty open-minded. There is always that "one thing" that you can't give them. And, at some point, you wont be the one they are thinking about when you are being intimate. My second husband is completely responsible for making me think this way. No, I don't think there is anything wrong with fantasy, especially if it's shared - but every time? it seemed to come to he couldn't get aroused or get off without doing so, and that just made me feel... used. Ultimately, it just turned me off completely.
3.) All relationships start out feeling as if it's the real thing. While i was way too young to entertain the thought of marriage the first time (I was 19), it felt right, we were hopeful, successful and completely out of love and had nothing in common except kids, 8 years later. He was a stranger, I had met on the beach at 17. Husband #2. We were life long friends, met in high school. i was 14, he 20. we connected after i divorced and all was bliss. he knew my whole life, so there were no surprises. i met back up with him when i was 26 and married him at 31. Divorced him at 44. My LDR was formed on line. We met within 2 months and have grown closer to the point that i know my heart is gone to him. We click. we are the same age. everything is perfect; personalities, goals, dreams... how long will it last? My heart says forever and i love being in love with this man.
while I've only listed the negative, i know there were/are good times to be remembered/had. I know relationships are a lot of work. i just don't want to fail at this again.
Am i kidding myself, can i make this work?
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